Alice Shaw


Twilight Saga:  ECLIPSE

 I just cannot understand all the fuss over the Twilight Saga.  This may be because I am not a teenaged girl, but I am still somewhat baffled.  I was recently coerced into attending the latest instalment, Eclipse and the theatre was markedly empty, except for, of course, a few young girls. 

Eclipse opens with Bella and Edward sitting in a sunny field.  Bella has a rare, almost smile on her face and Edward is sparkling in the sunshine.  This annoyed me right from the start because anyone who knows anything knows vampires burst into flame in the sun.  But I digress.

I thought the first movie was okay, in a teenage, “I’m in love with a vampire” kind of way.  It was all very misty and drizzly in far away Forkes, and this was an excellent backdrop for Bella’s angsty pining and Edward’s struggle against the just plain wrongness of being in love with a human girl.  It should have ended there.  But sadly for me, and very other parent with a tween or a teen, it didn’t.

 I mean I get where the author was trying to go.  A love triangle between a cold blooded vampire, with no soul but who loves deeply anyway; a sulky teenage girl, who considers herself a misfit; and a hot blooded werewolf, full of rage but in love with the girl he can never have.  But it doesn’t quite work. The premise of Twilight, in my opinion has been heavily borrowed from another human/vampire relationship, which took place in the cult series “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”.  It sort of feels like the werewolf was thrown in to put people off the scent, if you’ll pardon the pun.  But the whole thing is just a bit too angsty for me.  Nothing actually seems to happen.  Bella pines, Edward aches, Jacob longs…. And on and on it goes.

 I want to tell my daughter and every other young girl that desperate pining, longing for death over lost love and moping about the place over someone unattainable is a very bad idea indeed.  I’m bored with Bella and her suicidal antics.  She constantly puts herself in danger, having families, both warm blooded and cold, springing to her defence, desperate to protect her whilst she protests that she loves them all too much for them to put themselves out for her.  “It’s okay”, she seems to be saying, “I’ll just get ripped apart by vengeful vampires instead.  Honestly, it really is better that way”.  

Give me a good vampire thriller any day.  As far as I’m concerned, all this sparkling in sunshine, casting a perfectly clear reflection in mirrors and nary a pointed fang to be seen is just not on.  If it’s not Bela Lugosi or Buffy, it’s just not vampires.


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